Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A Special Birthday

It is a perfect summer night in Hawaii; there is a cool breeze – not too hot, not too cold. My eyelids are heavy, weighed down of jetlag from the time change from Japan. It is my birthday, but I am too tired to celebrate. As my mind starts drifting into the dream world, I hear a sudden outburst of a cheerful chorus of “Happy Birthday”. When finished, an explosion of applause erupts from my table, and a small cake is placed in front of me. All fatigue forgotten, I look around me, staring at the beaming faces of family and friends alike, all wearing beautiful, red flowers in their hair. I tug at the hem of my dress, nervous under the eye of so many, and blow out the ten candles neatly placed on the cake. A sudden gust of wind blows in my face, and I smell a mixture of burning candle wax and the salty ocean breeze. It is pleasant; I like it. Washing down the faint aftertaste of pineapples from dinner, I pick up the cold silverware, ready to taste my surprise birthday cake. My mother gives me the first piece, and I hastily bite into the rich chocolate cake, savoring every sweet bite.


--Marie

7 comments:

  1. lovin the use of all the senses. like "a sudden gust of wind blows in my face, and i smell a mixture of burning candle was and the salty ocean breeze"

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  2. Your paragraph brought back my memories of my past birthdays. Your word choice was excellent, and I enjoyed reading it(: great job!

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  3. wow.. that was really discriptive, like I was there... lucky

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  4. i like your sense words and your diction was bootylicious

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  5. I cant get over the fact that you were in Hawaii for your birthday. It's awesome! Your writing was so descriptive, I feel like I was there! But dont thinks it's strange that I was at your 10th birthday party when I only met you this year.. :P

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  6. no fair! i want to go to hawaii. great use of the senses. i like how your fatigue was forgotten when you saw your cake. :) haha.

    and i guess your diction was bootylicious.
    :P

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  7. thanks yall :)
    bobby and olivia - HAHA. I literally laughed out loud. :D

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